Conclusions from a Night of Insomnia

I have come to the upsetting conclusion that I am a living, breathing, contradiction. I consider myself to be completely open-minded, never placing judgment or blame. Can I refrain from laughing at a girl with big hair and Lucky Jeans? No. I dream of becoming an incredible musician, using my talent to transcend reality and express my emotions beyond any written word. Do I sing? Do I tickle the ivories? No and no. I long for a world free of superficial beauty. Yet, can I leave the house without primping? Sadly, no. My biggest desire is to travel the world lending my efforts to those who need it most. Have I ever left the country? No. I have such intense passion for life, yet an insatiable desire to die. Every now and again I catch a glimpse of my purpose in life; within moments it's fleeing. Do I commit to my idea of life's meaning? No.